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P-Spot Stimulation

“How can I learn to massage the P-spot on a man?”

For those who don’t know, the P-spot is about 2 inches (5cm) inside the anus against the front wall of the rectum. Pressing that spot compresses the prostate gland, which when done just right gives a delicious, sexual, gotta-pee-like feeling. Since the prostate stores semen, some can be squeezed out through the urethra even though the man doesn’t ejaculate. Sometimes, a man can orgasm from P-spot stimulation. That tends to be a bit different, a more full-body orgasm.

It does take some practice to massage the spot just right for maximum pleasure. A man can usually barely reach the spot with his own fingers. Some will use a tool such as a kitchen utensil with a blunt handle or a devise called Aneros.

However the best way to learn to massage the P-spot is to enlist the help of a volunteer. This can be a friend, coworker or family member. Anyone who might enjoy the pleasure without being geeked out about the possibility of encountering a little poop or thinking it is ‘gay’ in some sort of negative way.

As to poop, it usually doesn’t happen. The anal area is reasonably clean between poopings. One can also use rubber gloves, or an enema to clean the anal passage before engaging in P-spot stimulation. Playing with an enema can be enjoyable in its own right.

Aneros, available on Amazon

See also, Spots.

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My Adventures with Sex Toys

By Michael Lowe Wright

Originally published on

The following is kind of raw and honest about some very personal stuff. It may be too much information for some visitors; if that’s you, or if you’re under legal age, you really should go read something else instead.

One of my hobbies/interests is exploring the use of sex toys for personal growth. I was reviewing adult toy items on Amazon and realized there is stigma around admitting to using them for sexual pleasure. Lots of people don’t have a human partner, and for those who don’t sex toys are absolutely essential for personal recreation and release of tension. No one should feel shame and be unable to talk about enjoying their own sexuality.

So I wrote this. I’m really exposing myself here, so to speak, and I want to talk freely about my use of sex toys, no matter how embarrassed I may feel sometimes about it being out there for everyone to read. If one person feels better about themselves, or less burdened by guilt, or less afraid to use sex toys, then I’m OK with it.

I’ve lived alone and without any serious relationships for a long time; that’s not what I’d have chosen for myself but it’s the hand I’ve been dealt, and for the most part I’m content with it. I’m blessed to have known true love more than once in my life, and not so blessed to find that I’m incapable of being a good partner – in large part because, as it turns out, I am and always have been nonbinary/gender fluid. One compensation is that I’m able to explore my sexual nature deeply without concern that I’m being selfish. For this reason, sex “toys” are, for me, tools to aid in that exploration. As many have before me, going back into the dim reaches of human existence, I’ve learned that sexual energy and consciousness can lead a person into not only ecstasy but also useful knowledge about their “spirit body” (that virtual us where stomach butterflies live) and from there into self-knowledge, peace of mind, and healing past trauma. For me, as a poet and an observer of life in general, these experiences give insight and inspiration unavailable elsewhere.

So please understand that what I talk about here may not be useful to couples seeking some bedroom fun advice – I’m doing this to share what I’ve learned and the experiences I continue to have because I think not only do they have value in their own right but also because they shed light on the roots of some of my creativity and motivation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chastity Cage ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michael Lowe Wright and his chastity cage

Michael Lowe Wright in his chastity cage

When I recently saw several women comment online that all men should wear a chastity cage routinely, I realized that was something I needed to try, so I could understand what they were talking about. I bought one from Amazon and was amazed at how comfortable it is to wear. That’s how it came to be one of the two “toys” that have become vital parts of my life. I reviewed the one I bought at Amazon and pretty much said it all there, but wait! there’s more. That one rusted and I had to buy an otherwise-identical stainless steel one to replace it. [Because of a constriction in my urethra, I’m still unable to insert the matching catheter so that’s going to have to wait for another day. I’m fascinated by the idea of my maleness being (temporarily) so completely shut down: caged, intubated, and unable to move or respond to anything – but to be honest it’s also kind of terrifying.] I’ve learned to get the ring on and off fairly quickly now but I had to do it a few times first – one doesn’t want to squish the tender parts!

Since I’m always naked at home*, it’s very strange to suddenly have an implacable, heavy metal cage clamped and locked onto my crotch in full view; it’s humiliating to be seen wearing it and to always have it there in my lap drawing attention. On the positive side, since it can’t be ignored I have opportunities to talk about why I’m wearing it. I also want to be transparent about wearing the cage when I’m in public, so any time I do I lock a chain around my left ankle as a signal to anyone who knows.

For me the value of the chastity cage lies in its ability to completely subvert my lifelong privilege and expectation of being able to interact with my male organ – it’s locked in a cage that in turn is clamped onto my scrotum. It’s not only that I can’t touch or play with myself, my most private area has been taken over by a piece of unyielding and uncaring metal; and it’s there all the time. These devices don’t keep you from feeling aroused, they only keep you from doing anything about it. That energy has to go somewhere, and I use controlled yoga breathing and guided imagery to direct it towards healing both body and soul. I enter states of bliss and ecstasy that leave me feeling energized and cleansed. That energy remains in my body for some time after, enabling further meditation and healing later.

Wearing it transforms my daily life, too. The only time I’m not conscious of being caged is when I’m asleep. I’m always aware at some level of the unrelenting pressure of the ring around my scrotum and the weight of the metal. All this together creates a sense of unreality in contrast with the “normal” times when I’m not wearing it, and a heightened level of awareness and sensitivity – again firing my creative energies.

Currently I’m experimenting with wearing a ‘collar’ that consists of only the base ring of a chastity cage. It’s still locked onto the big ring as securely but most of my penis is exposed, yet still restrained by the ‘collar’. This eliminates the issue of difficulty urinating cleanly and makes keeping the device clean a lot easier, while not really allowing me to otherwise use my penis. In some ways it’s more challenging to wear than the full cage – it’s possible to have an erection but it becomes engorged and uncomfortable; I can touch and hold it but I can’t masturbate. It’s possible I’ll be wearing this a lot more than the full cage.

The other thing I’ve done is to bend the pins slightly on the attachments so that they snap into place on the big ring and will stay put without a lock. It makes cleaning and swapping attachments much easier.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Dildo ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Like many men, I’ve always enjoyed anal play but was ashamed to admit it until I acknowledged that I’m nonbinary/gender fluid. Then I realized that not only is there no shame but that I was really wanting it. So I bought a lifelike dildo from Amazon (see my review) a couple of years ago. It’s identical to my own organ but two inches longer. It’s a good fit, feels quite natural and good, and now I don’t know how I lived without it. If the number of people who ‘liked’ my review is any indication, I’m far from the only person enjoying this wonderful fake penis. It wasn’t until I had it filling me and, in a sense, having its way with me that I began to fully understand the mind-altering experience and joy of submission. Since I’m always naked, having it inside me can and does happen on a moment’s notice.

It’s the combination of the chastity cage and the dildo that really takes things to another level, though. I’ve worn the cage for up to three weeks at a time, and during that time I’ve had no physical outlet for sexual energy. Adding a good fucking with the dildo – and getting fucked is very different from the masturbation I’ve always had available to me – takes me to places of ecstasy and delight like nothing I’ve ever known. I should add that, as you can see from the photo above of me naked wearing the cage, getting fucked while wearing it can happen very easily and at any time – and does. (I say ‘fucked’ because this is no sterile application of a tool, it’s an active engagement with a realistic human penis.) That feeling of perpetual vulnerability to their imminent use is one of the best things to come out of my adventures with these sex ‘toys’ – knowing that I can be thrown into a state of heightened awareness at the drop of a hat.

I’ve been wanting a second dildo without the fake scrotum at the base, and recently Amazon had one for four dollars, so I bought it. I wanted to be able to leave it in place and wear it for a short while occasionally. This one is effectively a bit shorter and the glans is smaller than my other one so it’s not as much fun to use but should be fine for just wearing it.

Anal intercourse can, of course, be somewhat messy. It helps to eat a high-fiber diet and have regular movements, which increases the likelihood of the bowel being empty. When in doubt I use a glyerine suppository that generally cleans things out within about an hour. The result is that there is usually no or almost no mess involved. Nobody likes to think about this aspect but it’s easily enough to discourage someone from pursuing an otherwise delightful pleasure, so it’s worth the effort to prepare. I usually try to be prepped by early afternoon so there’s almost no delay between deciding to use the dildo and having it in place.

Dildos available on Amazon


Most of my life I thought of myself as a cis male, albeit a dysfunctional one, with a strong female side. Now that I understand I’m really neither simply male or female internally, I’ve realized my female side has been pushed down and not allowed full expression. The chastity cage prevents me from masturbating but I can still press on the glans and create sexual sensations, making it function more like a clitoris. Add to that having to be fucked to replace the masturbation and I find my female side is loving it. I’ve committed myself to letting “her” take control of my body and my life; I want to dress in short skirts and tank tops, wear simple jewelry, feel attractive, and have men wanting to fuck me – and doing it. At my age I don’t feel like much of a catch but just going fully into that space for a while heals my soul – I have a lot of years to make up for. I’m not killing off my male side here, only expanding the range of my experience and gaining more insight into what it means to be a human being. It’s all material for the poet and philosopher in me.

Here’s some poetry that grew out of these experiences:

Four Revelations

*I have a binding commitment to live clothes-free as much as possible, and I’m always naked at home in warm weather.

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Mom and Daughter Give Step-Dad a Treat #4

By Spurtz

See also:
Mom and Daughter Give Step-Dad a Treat #1
Mom and Daughter Give Step-Dad a Treat #2
Mom and Daughter Give Step-Dad a Treat #3

Mom Katie: If you read the three previous installments of this story, you will know that I was very concerned that my fresh-out-of-high school daughter Jill was still a virgin. I got the warped idea that teaching her something about sex using my new husband Bill, her step-father, was a solution. I was partly right but mostly wrong. It started off by just exposing her to an erect penis in a hot tub party that I had suggested. Unfortunately once she had viewed Bill’s monster dick, she went crazy sucking him off right in the hot tub.

The next morning, Jill then suggested that we become a nudist family at home. Looking back, I now realize that she wanted to do that so she would have instant access to Bill’s cock any time she wanted. I went along with it because I felt guilty for letting everything get started. Before I even realized what was happening, she was getting Bill off three or four times every day. Masturbating him, blowing him, and mostly fucking him.

My solution was to bring our friend Steve into the picture. Steve was a young guy who Bill and I had started having threesome sessions with about a year ago while Jill was away at an exclusive all-girl’s boarding school. Jill had no clue about any of this. She had no idea that Bill and I were swingers.

Foursome Steve: I thought I had hit a home run when I hooked up with Bill and Katie. Katie was a terrific fuck and was probably the best looking woman I had ever been with. That is, until I met Jill. Additionally my sessions with Bill and Katie had led into some cock sucking between myself and Bill. I had never sucked a dick before but one of the natural things that MFM threesomes lead to is sexual contact between the two guys. It just happens and it’s so natural. And fun.

Then when I was introduced to Jill, I knew I had hit a grand slam home run. Katie was beautiful but Jill was drop-dead beautiful. And still a teen. And all that girl wanted to do was suck and fuck. She had her cherry taken by Bill’s big cock and now she was obsessed with big dicks. Fortunately my cock was about the same size as Bill’s and Jill would spend the entire day playing with it, if allowed.

Unfortunately, because I had a regular job, I was limited to evenings and weekends with Jill. Katie, for whatever reason, wanted us to only get together at her house. There was no privacy. We were free to do whatever we wanted anywhere in the house as long as there were no locked doors. Since neither Katie or Bill seemed to mind, I would fuck Jill right on the living room sofa in the presence of both of them. Sometimes Bill and I would take turns fucking Jill. Katie would never admit it, but I could tell she somehow secretly got off on seeing either of our big cocks stretching the vaginal lips of her teen daughter.

Stepdad Bill: When Steve came on the scene, it did put a damper on how frequently I could fuck Jill. But he could usually only make it a couple of evenings during the week and then on the weekend. On those days when Jill knew there would be no Steve, she would be quite insistent that I get her off at least twice. I could tell Katie was not happy with how often my erect penis found its way into Jill’s sopping wet pussy. She seemed powerless to slow Jill down and I couldn’t stop even if I wanted to. Katie and I talked about it and we resigned ourselves to the fact that we would just have to wait it out. At some point, the constant sex would get to be old hat and things would slow down. I secretly hoped it wouldn’t be any time soon.

Mom Katie: The amount of sex that was taking place in our house was astounding. The crazy thing was that on one hand I hated it, but on the other I secretly enjoyed it. I never understood why, but I got a sexual thrill watching the two men punish Jill’s body with their monster cocks. Surprisingly, even with Jill’s open pussy available to either man any time they wanted it, I wasn’t ignored. Both Bill and Steve went out of their way to make sure I was getting as much cock as I wanted. I wasn’t as insatiable as Jill, but usually one daytime fuck and one nighttime fuck was enough to keep me happy. And in between I got my share of having my pussy and asshole licked while masturbating those big cocks, sometimes both at the same time. Jill would sometimes join in and finger the guy’s assholes or help me lick up any excess semen that got spilled.

One recent morning the three of us were at the breakfast nook, nude as usual. I looked over at Bill and his cock was fully erect and sticking straight up, peeking over the top edge of the table. Although he spent a good portion of the day with a hard-on, it was unusual to see it standing proud this early. I asked him about it. I noticed it appeared to have more color than usual. I jokingly accused him of jacking off. Considering that Jill was eagerly available to jack or suck his cock any time he wanted, it would be odd for him to jack off. I have subsequently learned that even when a ready hand or vagina is available, men still enjoy some solo jacking.

Anyway, Bill responded that he hadn’t been jacking off and he had no ready explanation for the erection. Sometimes it just happened, he claimed. Jill was sitting next to him and she reached out and put the palm of her hand on the tip of his rock hard prick and started rubbing it in circles. When Bill’s cock was that hard, I knew that even the slightest stimulation felt incredibly good. Then Jill moved her hand down and gripped the shaft just under the head and started masturbating him. I wanted to tell her to stop. This was totally inappropriate. Seeing my teen daughter jacking off my husband at the breakfast table was just wrong. But I couldn’t force myself to say anything.

Daughter Jill: You have probably realized by now that I worship Bill’s monster cock. I love feeling how hard and soft it is at the same time. Although the best feeling is when his prick is buried deep in my teen cunt, or shooting a load down my throat, I also get off on jacking him off just so I can see the cum shoot out. I love it when that happens. The messier the spurts, the more I like it.

This morning his big throbbing prick looked unusually inviting. It wasn’t usually erect at the breakfast table so I looked upon this as a special treat. Even from my limited experience with just Bill and Steve, I knew that men could get extra horny at any time for no discernible reason. And I could tell this was one of those times. Bill’s cock was iron-hard with a deep purple color to the shiny head. The skin was stretched so tight on the head that it looked like it was ready to burst.

I looked at mom. It was hard to tell what she was thinking. I could tell she was horrified and turned on at the same time. She didn’t say a word and made no effort to stop me so I just kept jacking Bill’s beautiful dick like a woman possessed.

Before I even realized it was happening, huge spurts of semen shot out of Bill’s dick. And the more it spurted, the harder I jacked his cock. Stream after stream of cum jetted from his pulsating prick. The juice arced high in the air and then splattered down all over our morning’s breakfast. Three plates of bacon and eggs were covered in white globs of nut juice.

I looked at Bill’s face while I kept on jacking and he kept on shooting. His eyes were rolled back in his head and his lips were pulled tight over his teeth as the orgasm of the century hit the poor guy. Bill had snaked one arm around me when I first started jacking him off. He now pulled me tight against him and muttered to me, “Don’t stop, don’t stop.” And I didn’t. I was having way too much fun.

As the spurts weakened, Bill lifted his butt up off the bench and I attempted to point his dick out over the table so he could complete his ejaculations onto our breakfast. I say “attempted” because his dick was so freaking hard, I could barely move it from its upright angle. But he still managed to get all of his semen onto the table and not on his lap or onto the breakfast nook cushions. But quite a bit did end up on my hand which I eagerly licked off and swallowed.

Katie sat there in stunned silence. I grabbed some napkins that were on the table and proceeded to wipe any excess cum off of Bill’s dick. Normally I would have licked it off but there was also something extremely erotic to me when wiping a man’s cock clean with napkins or a washcloth. It really turned me on.

I got up from the breakfast nook and pulling Bill by his prick, I led him into the adjacent living room. I sat him down and then climbed on, inserting his still throbbing erect penis into my dripping wet pussy. I wanted to be fucked.

I called to mom and asked if she could fix a fresh breakfast for us while I enjoyed Bill’s monster cock invading my hungry cunt.

See also:
Mom and Daughter Give Step-Dad a Treat #1
Mom and Daughter Give Step-Dad a Treat #2
Mom and Daughter Give Step-Dad a Treat #3

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Drawings By Spurtz

Followers of this website may know that Spurtz is a rather amazing character. He has had an amazing amount of sexual experience. At 89 years old, he still wanks daily, and has been with women fairly recently. He has written many great stories, both fiction and true accounts. What you may not know is he is also a very talented artist.

These drawings are by Spurtz:

Explicit drawing by Spurtz

There are some original photos by Spurtz and of Spurtz at Interview with an Extraordinary 87-Year-Old.

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Josephine Baker

Josephine Baker was a sexy and highly sexual woman. She became the biggest African-American star in the world. Here is her strange mini-biography.

Josephine was born in 1906 on the wrong side of the tracks in Saint Louis, Missouri, USA. Her grandparents on her mother’s side had been slaves.

Josephine Baker as a baby

Her parents had a vaudeville background. Vaudeville was live variety entertainment presented in theaters. Acts ranged from singing and dancing to magic, juggling, trained animal acts, and comedy. Back in the day, vaudeville was an attractive pursuit that was profitable for some performers, but barely made ends meet for most.

Her deadbeat father was a drummer who left when Josephine was one year old. He may have been of Native American heritage. No one seems to know for sure. Her poor mother had to take in laundry to barely put food on the table.

To make matters worse, her mother found another man to marry. Another deadbeat. Oh, this one didn’t leave the family, but he didn’t work either. He spent his days sitting around reading the newspaper. The family was so poor that Josephine, her younger step-brother and two step-sisters, her mother and father all slept in the same bed.

After a while, that was too much for her, so she took to sleeping on the floor, under a blanket made from newspapers.

When she was eight years old, to bring in more money her mother sent her off to work for a white family as a maid. Things got worse, not better. Josephine slept in that family’s basement with their dog.

One time, she put too much soap in the laundry. The white woman burned her hands. Evidently, it was just mild enough not to leave permanent scars.

Despite all that, Josephine managed to stay in school until age twelve.

Things weren’t yet bad as they could be. By the age of thirteen, she was living on the streets, scavenging for food and using cardboard boxes for shelter from the weather. Needing money, she took up unskilled street performing. She emulated popular dances of the era, Trucking, The Tack-Annie, The Itch, and Messing Around.

Finally, things started to improve. She met and married Willie Wells. She was thirteen years old at the time. He was fifteen. One can only imagine what kind of sex life they had. How much did they even know about sex at that age?

Josephine’s rough street performing improved and she started performing with the Jones Family street performers in front of Booker T Washington theater.

One day, the opening act in the theater, the Dixie Steppers, failed to show. You guessed it. The Jones family, along with Josephine were invited into the theater to perform on stage.

By this time, Josephine could dance, cross her eyes, and play trombone at the same time. She had comedy talent.

By the time she was 15 years old, she had divorced Willie, and married a guy named William Howard Baker at age 15. Just like her father, William turned out to be a lazy non-worker. Isn’t it amazing how often people will marry someone who has the same traits as one of their parents?

Right around this time, the manager of the Dixie Stepper took the Jones family and Josephine to New York. During this time, Josephine’s career evolved. She was truly a professional, although not by any means well-paid.

Still only fifteen years old, Josephine won a role in the 1921 all-Black production “Shuffle Along.” She played comedy clown at the end of a chorus line who couldn’t keep up, stumbling around out of time, and making a hilarious mess, but she ended the routine with skillful dancing.

She performed in New York City for four years as her skill continued to grow. Then, at age nineteen, she moved to Paris, France.

She became a nearly instant sensation. Billed as having come from an African tribe, she could dance like no other, taking what she had learned on the streets of Saint Luis including things like popping and locking, which she was doing decades ahead of time, to the stages of Paris.

Some have said that she’s the founder of much modern dance including hip-hop. Reviewers at the time called her style ‘uninhibited.’ Beyonce, among other modern celebrities have attributed some of their skills to Josephine’s influence.

It didn’t hurt that she was an exceptionally beautiful Black woman, a rarity in France. Furthermore, it didn’t hurt that she danced nearly naked, something that was somewhat common in Paris at the time. Did I say ‘nearly naked?’ She was absolutely topless other than some necklaces, and had invented a skirt made of sixteen rubber bananas that were hung from a belt and swayed back and forth in such a way that the audience could see everything. She was obviously not afraid to be seen in her entirety. According to some reports, she sometimes performed 100% naked.

Josephine Baker in her banana skirt, also known as banana girdle

Two years later, Josephine Baker became the ‘Toast of Paris.’

Josephine Baker, the Toast of Paris

Great opportunities came her way. She was the the first black star in a major motion picture, Siren of the Tropics, a silent film released in 1927. Later she starred in “Zuzu” in 1934, and “Princes TamTam” in 1935.

One of her trademarks was a spit curl, a little lock of hair that was pasted to her forehead, Betty Boop style. In fact Betty Boop, who came along in 1930, may have been inspired by Josephine Baker. Josephine started selling the paste she used for that spit curl, calling it BakerFix, and made a literal fortune with her acting plus that product.

Another trademark, besides nudity in performing and the spit curl, was that she seldom if ever wore high heels, preferring flats. That was probably influenced by her dancing.

While many people have a housecat or a dog, Josephine fell in love with Chikita, a cheetah, giving her kitty a diamond collar that matched Josephine’s diamond bracelet. Josephine were sometimes spotted around Paris in her white convertible Rolls Royce, with Chikita by her side. She often performed with Chikita on stage. Sometimes the cat would wander down to the orchestra pit, scaring the musicians, which added to the show.

She fell in love with Giuseppe Pepito Abatino, a former stone mason from Sicily. Unlike her father and now estranged second husband, Pepito actually worked. He became her agent. She couldn’t marry him because she was still technically married to William.

Already on a spectacular projectory, with Pepito’s management, she became the most successful Black woman in Europe.

With all her success, she still missed America. She pestered Pepito to get her a booking on Broadway. He got her a starring role in the 1936 Zigfield Follies. However, this was America. She couldn’t drink from ‘white’ drinking fountains, couldn’t use ‘white’ bathrooms, or eat in ‘white’ restaurants. She had to use the service entrance of the very theater in which she was performing.

As you can imagine, she went back to France as soon as the Zigfield gig was done.

In time, she could have married Pepito, but he died of stomach cancer when she was 30 years old.

She counted among her friends Jean Cocteau, who is described in Wikipedia as “French poet, playwright, novelist, designer, filmmaker, visual artist and critic.”

Ernest Hemingway called her the ‘most sensational woman anyone ever saw.’

Picasso featured her in art.

So what about her sex life? When asked, she would say she believed sex was a good workout, it was fun.

She had many affairs with men, sometimes picking up random guys in nightclubs. Women too. She had an affair with Ada “Bricktop” Smith, who was the other famous Black woman in Paris at the time. Ada was a singer, dancer, and owned a nightclub in Paris.

Josephine Baker's Friend, Ada Bricktop Smith
Ada “Bricktop” Smith

According to a Wikipedia article, Josephine also had lesbian affairs with French novelist Colette, and possibly Frida Kahlo.


Frida Kahlo

Time went on. She continued in her success. In 1937 she married Jewish French industrialist, Jean Lion. For a year, they had a wonderful time, riding horseback, flying in private planes, going fox hunting, and wining and dining with the biggest of celebrities. She left Jean after fourteen months, at least in part because of her many affairs with both men and women.

Along came World War II. She hated the Nazis. They were like prejudiced white people in America, but they tormented Jews instead of Black people. Josephine also loved France so much, the country where she was invited to dine with white people for the first time in her life, the country where everyone adored her for who she was rather than shun her just for her skin color, that she signed up as a spy with the French Resistance.

She also performed for the troops. She never charged any money for these performances. At the same time, being the celebrity that she was, she could wine and dine with many influential people, including Nazi dignitaries. She was able to get next to them – in bed one would assume, listen to their secrets, and pass them on to the French military intelligence and eventually President Charles deGaul.

At one point, she was asked to set up an army entertainment camp in Morocco. She did entertain the troops, but it was really a cover for her continuing spying activity. While in Morocco, she nearly died from the last in a series of miscarriages, probably brought on by improper abortions. This one was so bad that she developed peritonitis and a blood infection. Her uterus was removed.

Even as she was still recovering from that, she continued not only her spy work, but also, along with a entourage, she entertained the troops, charging no money, and allowing no civilians in the audience.

When the German men spilled the beans, ‘mansplained’ as one biographer called it, she wrote notes that she folded into her panties. She had no problem passing through customs as she went from country to country. No one was going to strip search the famous Josephine Baker. Instead, customs officials asked for her autograph.

Another bold trick she used to smuggle information was to write in invisible ink on her sheet music. Of course she’d always be carrying sheet music in her business.

When she was forced to leave France, she took out as many Jewish refugees as she could fit in her Rolls Royce.

The war ended. Time went on. The little girl who grew up abused and in abject poverty remained one of the biggest and wealthiest stars in Europe.

In 1947 at the age of 41, Josephine married orchestra leader, Jo Bouillon. Jo Baker and Jo Bouillon.

By the age 45, she could sing in English, French, Italian, Portuguese, Yiddish.

May 20, 1951 was declared Josephine Baker day by the NAACP.

Even though she could perform at the world-renowned Stork Club, she evidently couldn’t sit in the audience. When the management tried to expel her, Grace Kelly, later to become Princess Grace of Monaco, held her arm and walked out with her, including Grace’s entire entourage. They became close friends.

Also in 1951, while performing at the Stork Club, she complained about their policy of discouraging black audience members. Her friend Walter Winchell did not come to her defense, she she got mad at him. He retaliated by calling her a Communist in his newspaper column. That, among other complications, resulted in the government canceling her visa. Once again, she had to return to France.

She came back a few times to the United States, where she was also a celebrity, but not on the same scale as in France. In the US, she was still a ‘Negro’ and relegated to only designated restaurants, bathrooms and hotels. At one point, she was turned down by 36 hotels because she was black. People were still so fucked up about race in America that her magnificent performance in the follies earned her bad reviews.

Here’s a Time Magazine review:

“Josephine Baker is a Saint Louis washwoman’s daughter who stepped out of a negro burlesque show and into a life of adulation and luxury in Paris during the booming 1920s. In sex appeal to jaded Europeans of the jazz-loving type, a Negro wench always has a head start. The particular tawny tint of tall and stringy Josephine Baker’s bare skin stirred French pulses, but to Manhattan theater-goers last week, she was just a slightly buck-toothed young negro woman who’s figure might be matched in any nightclub show, who’s dancing and singing could be topped practically anywhere outside France.”

Shortly after the war, and possibly starting before, she began executing a brilliant idea, one many years ahead of its time. In 1936 she had purchased Château des Milandes, a chateau with a village that she hoped to turn into something like Dollywood, with peacocks, a J-shaped swimming pool, hotel, rides, and much more.

She also started adopting children, but not just any children. She wanted variety for a very special reason. She initially wanted a white child, a black child, a yellow child and a red child. She did manage to adopt White, Black and Asian children, but never managed to find a ‘red’ – American Indian child.

In total, she had twelve kids, ten boys and two girls, that she called her Rainbow Tribe. The kids she selected came from varied backgrounds, Catholic, Jewish and Muslim. She was intent on proving that people of different backgrounds can get along just fine. She said, “They will serve as an example of true democracy and be living proof that if people are left in peace, nature takes care of the rest.”

Most of her kids grew up to become successful, although one did commit suicide as an adult.

One of her children, Finnish-born Jarry, came out as gay at the age of 15. Uncharacteristically, Josephine, herself a practicing bisexual, threw him out, forcing him to live with his adoptive father, Jo Bouillion, by then in Argentina. This must have been due to what she figured would be negative publicity for her Rainbow Tribe. But still! Right?

How was Josephine as a person? People say she was sweet and kind, but also could act like a demanding brat, in the way that rapid wealth can spoil people.

When in America, she was a big civil rights advocate, being the only female speaker in the 1963 March on Washington.

When Dr. Martin Luther King was assassinated, his wife, Coretta Scott King, asked Josephine to lead the civil rights movement, but she turned it down out of consideration for the safety of her children.

The Château des Milandes experiment never quite worked out. If you’ve ever owned a village with a chateau, then you know they can absorb a lot of money. In fact, Château des Milandes ate up all of Josephine’s fortune. By 1968, she was flat broke, and was evicted from the villa. Leaving her home of 32 years was not easy for her. She had to be removed bodily.

Fortunately, her friend actress Grace Kelly, gave her an apartment in which she could stay and live in style for the rest of her life.

In 1975, at the age of 68, Josephine Baker was still a very well-regarded celebrity. A sold-out show celebrating Josephine’s fifty years in entertainment was arranged at Carnegie Hall. She performed brilliantly. The show was attended by Mick Jagger, Sophia Loren, Jackie Onasis, among others.

Four days later, she died peacefully in her bed, surrounded by newspapers all with glowing reviews of her performance.

20,000 people attended Josephine Baker’s funeral.

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Girl’s Guide to Masturbation

This post has been written because you may not have complete and accurate information on sex and masturbation. I hope you find it informative and interesting.

We know that young people have access to all sorts of pornography on the Internet, and hope this page will help combat some of the incredible misinformation out there, keeping you healthier and safer.

Many still find this subject taboo, something that can’t be spoken or written about, but as you will see, even though you may have hidden yourself under the covers to read this article, it is a subject that is very important to talk about and one that we should believe should be openly discussed.

It’s OK if you don’t already know everything on this topic. Almost everyone your age is in the same boat. Even your parents, wise and kind though they may be, don’t know everything.

Masturbation is as common among women as it is among men, but it remains a subject that most women still will not discuss. We are going to discuss this topic in depth using detailed images and language which some of you may not be used to seeing or reading.

Let’s start with a fun little anatomy lesson. Grab a mirror and maybe a flashlight and take a good look between your legs. Don’t be scared. You are not doing anything wrong and you should not feel dirty. The slotted area between your legs is your vagina, sometimes also called ‘pussy,’ ‘VJJ,’ or ‘cunt.’ Note that ‘cunt’ is considered by many people as a bad swear word. Your vagina is a fascinating structure with some interesting parts.

Girl's guide to masturbation and sex, illustrated vagina

Your exploration should be done at your own pace, you may never have touched this area before other than when wiping or showering. You may find that you get some feelings during your exploration that you are not used to, some might be pleasurable, others less so.

You may have an amount of hair around your vagina. It is as normal to have a lot of hair than no hair or little hair. Some girls also choose to shave their vaginas.

Using your fingers, slowly start to investigate your vagina, you only need your fingers for this.

Situated at the top of the vagina, between the outer labia (‘labia majora’), also known as the vulva, and the inner labia (also known as ‘labia minora’), is your clitoris, often simply called the ‘clit.’ On some girls the clitoris is small and hard to find, while on others it is big and easy to notice. The clitoris is the most sensitive part, containing literally thousands of nerve endings. It may be covered by a fold of skin called the clitoral hood. You should be able to gently push the clitoral hood up or to one side and reveal the clitoris. You may find the clitoris is initially too sensitive to touch or sends unusual sensations through your body.

The clitoris is the only organ in your body that has the sole purpose of providing pleasure. We’ll talk more about that later.

If you spread your inner labia apart, and look further down, you may see a small opening, called the urethral opening or ‘meatus.’ The urethra is a tube that runs from the meatus to your bladder, which is a balloon in your body that holds urine (pee).

An interesting experiment you might enjoy is to sit on the edge of your bathtub, and pee a little bit while holding a mirror to watch it happen.

Below the urethra, is a larger opening, which may not be easy to see unless you spread your inner labia really wide. It may seem like an infinitely deep tunnel. That opening may be partially covered by a thin layer of skin called the hymen. Many girls your age no longer have hymens. That little covering often breaks open naturally during an athletic activity such as biking, horse riding, gymnastics, or masturbation with an object or your fingers. If it remains intact, the first time you have sex, the hymen may break then. Some girls notice a bit of pain, and maybe even a little blood when their hymen is broken, but many never even realized it happened.

Girl's Guide to Masturbation - various shapes of hymen in girls

This large opening, the vaginal canal, is where babies come out. Tiny though it is, the tissues around the opening are very flexible. A few inches inside the vaginal canal is the cervix, sometimes known as the ‘os’ which is a tight opening that leads to your uterus.

Girl's Guide to Masturbation - Vagina held open with speculum to show cervix
Vagina held open with a medical tool called a speculum to show cervix

The uterus is where babies are formed. Beyond the uterus are a couple of tubes, the Fallopian tubes, that lead to ovaries. The ovaries are small white glands that, once you are old enough, send out one microscopic egg once every 28 days. Interestingly, each ovary secretes one egg every 56 days, alternating with the other ovary. All the eggs you will ever deliver, well under 1,000, are already stored in you the day you are born.

Girl's Guide to Masturbation - Fallopian tubes

If you are already old enough, then you know about periods, also called menstruation. That happens approximately every 28 days. The actual timing may vary, especially in girls who have recently started menstruating. It’s a system to expel unused eggs, and keep your system clean by washing it with a bit of blood. The timing of periods can vary, as well as how much blood is released. Some girls have minor cramping at that time of the month. If you are one of the rare girls in which the blood loss or cramping is severe, you ought to check with a doctor. If you are already menstruating, even with some inconvenience and possible pain, you can be very proud. You have become a woman.

There are many things that affect how often you menstruate including your stress levels, how much you are eating, your general mood.

You might find you feel more playful and want to explore about the time of ovulation. You might not feel that you want to masturbate during your menstrual cycle, but while the orgasms might take longer, they will be better.

You may already know that boys are different. Instead of vagina, they have testicles and a penis. The penis can fill with blood to make it larger and stiff. From the same tube in the boy’s penis that carries urine, the boy can squirt out a small amount of liquid called semen, also known as ‘cum,’ ‘spunk,’ or ‘jizz,’ that contain millions of microscopic cells called sperm.

Girl's Guide To Masturbation - Male Anatomy
Male sexual organs

If a boy squirts sperm (semen) into your vagina, and even if just one of them meets up with an egg, a baby may start to form. You will be pregnant. Since the sperm and eggs are microscopic, and since us humans are so perfectly designed to create babies, it is a very good idea to avoid getting any semen in your vagina unless you are ready to become a mother.

The idea of having a baby is very romantic, but the reality is 18 years of hard labor. Not only that, but in a world with over 8 billion people, maybe adding another human into the mix isn’t such a great idea right now.

Basically, masturbation, and other things you can do besides intercourse (also known as ‘coitus,’ ‘sexual congress,’ ‘balling,’ ‘banging’ or ‘fucking’), makes a lot more sense, and turns out to be just as enjoyable.

When you looked at your vagina with a mirror, what you saw may be different than the picture above. Just like our faces are all different, so are vaginas. Take a look:

Girl's guide to sex and masturbation, different types of vaginas

The shape of your body, whether or not you have breasts and body hair, depend on your age, and genetics.

In addition to your height, weight, and color, the size of your vagina, inner labia, clitoris can vary. Some women have pigmented inner labia, and some do not. The same is true for nipples. Some are large, some are small, some are light, some are dark.

Most men and women have at least some body dysmorphia. That’s where you don’t think you look good. This can be nearly crippling for many people. Interestingly, some of the best looking people think they look terrible. Chances are you are much more beautiful than you realize.

Girl's Guide to Masturbation - stages of development

Masturbation, what does it mean?

Masturbation, also known as wanking, fapping, solo sex, jerking off, jilling, and about a thousand other names, is the practice of stimulating your body in a way that’s different than any other ways you may be familiar with. It can be satisfying like eating a good meal, getting enough sleep, winning a game, or soothing an itch. However, this satisfaction is most often felt in your genitals, meaning your vagina, breasts, or anus. Masturbation usually results in an orgasm. It doesn’t have to end in an orgasm, and it doesn’t have to be genital. I read about one woman who did have orgasms when her boyfriend rubbed the area between her shoulders on her upper back. Many people enjoy masturbation without orgasming.

It is very possible you don’t know what an orgasm is. Some women never experience an orgasm. A few have their first orgasms past the age of 40. On the other end of the spectrum, you’re never too young to have an orgasm.

So what is it? An orgasm is an involuntary reaction to a thought or physical stimulation. The usual orgasm starts with a chill building up in your body. Typically, this chill will be in your vagina or lower belly, but could be anywhere, even the top of your head. It is a rather delicious chill, and your body lets you know it wants more. Within a minute, the chill builds into something much more. Some have likened it to a sneeze, except much more pleasurable. Your muscles may tighten, you may start to shake uncontrollably, your conscious brain may go momentarily offline, you may loose bladder control, and you may feel contractions in your vagina. The orgasm usually lasts only a few seconds, although some women will have two or more orgasms in a row. After the orgasm, you may feel sexually satisfied, you may be sleepy or be very relaxed. Some women even cry after an orgasm. That crying isn’t from sadness. It’s not necessarily joy, either. It’s more of a release.

Every other form of emotional release is also possible, grunting, moaning, whimpering, shouting, or even screaming.

Which parts of my body do I use to masturbate?

Masturbation is stimulating parts of your body, usually with the intention of giving yourself an orgasm. The main part for most women is the vagina, and may be specifically the clitoris, that little button at the top of the vagina between your inner labia. However, masturbation can include stimulating the nipples, the anus, the mouth, even the legs, hands, belly, and other body parts.


What are the differences between masturbation and sex?

The most obvious difference is masturbation is something you do yourself. ‘Sex’ when used to mean ‘sexual activity’ involves at least one other person. Sex usually refers to intercourse, which is the placing of the male penis in the female vagina. Variations include anal intercourse, oral sex, frotting, hugging, sensual massaging, and fingering, all of which are covered elsewhere in this website.

An in between activity is mutual masturbation, in which two or more people masturbate each other. Some people take the word ‘sex’ to mean only ‘intercourse.’ Others use sex to indicate any activity from solo masturbation, or kissing to intercourse.

Girl's Guide to Masturbation, Female Mutual Masturbation
Female mutual masturbation

There are some dangers in any form of sexual activity involving more than one person. Let’s look at a few possible complications. Then you can decide if you might rather just masturbate:

You can become pregnant. You may be surprised at how young an age this can happen. For most girls, they are not fertile until at least age eleven. But some have become pregnant as early as five years old. Are you equipped to manage a baby?

You can become so sick that you can’t get out of bed, or visit any friends, and then you die. I know that sounds dire. but guess what? It is! I’m not saying that everyone who has sex is going to die, but is it a risk you really want to take for just a few minutes of pleasure?

The deadly sicknesses include syphilis, monkeypox, Covid-19, and AIDS. Sure, many people recover from these diseases, but some do not.

There are also milder diseases, but they can hound you for the rest of your life. Once you catch herpes, which usually manifests as blisters around your mouth or genitals, it can come back again and again. But worse, you can never kiss anyone ever again, in case you’d give them herpes.

Then there are the social issues. You might find a sexual mate who takes advantage of you. That can range from painful teasing, to physical injury. You might develop a reputation that you can never live down. For instance, imagine that your boyfriend takes a picture of you in a suggestive pose with no clothes on. All is good until you break up. He decides to post your picture on the Internet. Guess what? You can never remove a picture posted by someone else. It can spread like wildfire. In time, your friends, classmates, aunts, uncles, teachers, and even your parents may see the picture.

Many young people have this belief that bad things happen to other people, not them. That works fine, until it doesn’t.

So, we heartily recommend being satisfied with masturbation. Surprisingly, you can have a better time with masturbation than with intercourse. You get to masturbate where you want, when you want, and the way you want, rather than having to compromise all those decisions with someone else.

You may be surprised to discover that masturbation has many benefits, many of which are listed on the home page. Basically, you can feel better about yourself and your situations, can improve your physical health, and even study better.

When should I start masturbating?

Start when you feel like it. Some girls have masturbated since such an early age they can’t remember when they started. Three-year-old girls have been known to masturbate. Others don’t start until age 40. Some never did start. It’s all good.

When will I stop masturbating?

I once masturbated with an eighty-year-old woman at the annual Masturbate-A-Thon in San Francisco. I know a fellow who is 88 years old and still masturbates almost daily. There is no age limit.

Who else masturbates?

Practically everyone of all ages masturbates. You might be surprised to find out that it’s very likely that your teachers, your minister, your aunts, uncles, even your parents wank. We’re all wankers. Oh, sure, many will never admit it, but they still do it. You see, there’s a weirdness in our society. People are very reluctant to talk about masturbation. Fortunately, this attitude is shifting, but you’ll still find it is so strong in many people that they will claim they don’t masturbate, even though they do.

It’s kind of like the opposite of smoking cigarettes in the 1950s. People pretty well knew it was bad for health, but no one would talk about it, and people had to smoke because all their friends did it.

Why have I suddenly started to become interested in masturbating?

Sudden interest in masturbation is common. It may begin when your hormones shift as you grow, it may be because of a natural time of sexual awakening, or awareness in social circles. If you friends start talking about sex or masturbation, it makes sense that it might become interesting to you also.

What about negative influences?

“My parents have told me not to touch myself.”

This is wrong, they should have told you that it is fine to touch yourself, but that you should do it in the privacy of your bedroom.

“I’ve been told that genitals are dirty.”

Well, maybe they are, especially the anal area, but you can keep yourself clean, and no harm comes from touching that area of your body. As to ‘dirty’ in terms of ‘naughty,’ that too, comes from old-fashioned beliefs.

“My parents have told me not to masturbate.”

They might be from a generation, religious or conservative background in which masturbation was discouraged, but you can be sure they used to masturbate and probably still do. Things may be mostly different than in your parents’ era, so if they are old-fashioned, it is a good idea to keep your masturbation private. There’s no sense in stirring up a hornet’s nest. On the other hand, honesty is generally the best policy. If you feel you can open a discussion about masturbation with your parents, you may find that they can be more supportive than you thought.
“The society I live in says that you should not masturbate so I am scared to do it. I keep being told at church that it is sinful.”

This is rapidly becoming old-fashioned. Even some church leaders are now acknowledging that masturbation is not only OK, but has benefits.

“I’m worried about what my parents or siblings will think if they know I am masturbating.”

They know that you are of an age where you probably will masturbate. Chances are, they won’t say anything about it, or if they do, they’ll approach it in good humor, maybe even jokingly.

“I am scared to masturbate.”

Just like driving a car, or doing anything new, masturbating for the first time can be scary.

“I am scared of my siblings and what they will think about be masturbating.”

If they are older than you, they are probably more worried about you discovering their interest in masturbation, than them discovering you.

“What if I get caught masturbating?”

First, make an effort to avoid being caught. For most people, masturbation is a private activity. If you are caught, the results will depend on who catches you. Scared, conservative parents may have an improper negative reaction. It’s the way they were brought up. Hopefully, you’ll be able to excuse their behavior. Others will encourage you. Some will offer guidance or instruction. A very common reaction is to install a lock on your bedroom door, wink, and say something like, “You’re old enough now, you deserve your private time.”

As with most everything in life, clear communication is best. It is OK to admit to most parents, siblings, and other family members that you enjoy masturbation. If they are enlightened, they’ll probably admit that they do also.

So, I have decided I want to masturbate, what now?

Make sure you have enough time and privacy. Ask your family not to barge into your room, or bother you. If you and your family are good at communication, you can actually say something like, “I’m going to masturbate, so please don’t disturb me for a while.”

Never lock your door. Locking a bedroom door is dangerous for medical and fire reasons. You might enjoy setting the lighting the way you’d like, and put on some nice music.

Have a nice meal beforehand, and go to the bathroom if you feel the need.

You might like to do this after a bath or shower, so you are clean, refreshed, your hands are warm, and perhaps you are already naked. You can masturbate while clothed or nude. Most people prefer nude if there is time enough to undress and dress. Some, will simply lower their pants, or remove a skirt, and lower their underwear.

I like to recommend starting with a full body examination and adoring love of yourself. It doesn’t matter if you could add or lose some weight, whether you are tall or short, or if your hair isn’t right. This is the time to absolutely love who you are. You might like to admire yourself in a full-length mirror. Notice your breasts, your butt, all the curves of your body. It is not only OK to touch yourself, but can be great. Run your hands over your sides, your breasts, between your legs, over your butt, and just enjoy the sensations.

You may not need any further instruction at all. You may instinctively run your hands between your legs several times. You may automatically discover that special button, your clitoris, and give it attention. Or, maybe not.

You might get a kick out of very lightly running your fingers over your nipples. Then, maybe very lightly, touch your vaginal area. If it is covered with hair, touch it so lightly that you’re only gently brushing the hairs. If there is no hair, see how very lightly you can touch yourself. You may find that your body wants to open naturally, to let your fingers start touching your inner labia, and then your clitoris more and more.

When ever you give yourself self-love and massage, use the strokes that are for you. Deep, long, short, firm, light or delicate. Remember that this is your body, your feelings, do what feels good for you and not someone else.

Use on finger to make snail trails around your body, all over, find out what feels good. Use the underside of your finger, or introduce a nail to lightly scrape over your skin.

Don’t be surprised if you find the area becoming wet and slippery. Some women secrete a sort of oil naturally, that was created to help a penis slip easily into the vagina. Some women do not have this effect. You might want to try some olive or coconut oil, or a safe body lotion to lubricate the area.

In case you are one of the people who get particularly wet, you may want to have a towel under your body.

If you haven’t been directed by the feelings in your body what to do, then may I suggest you start running one or two fingers over your clitoris repeatedly. You might like to try a circular motion on your clit with one or two fingers. Be patient. Nothing may happen. That’s OK, you can just enjoy whatever happens.

Fantasy is a major component in most masturbation. It is OK to fantasize about any safe activity with any person. It may not be at all appropriate to act on those fantasies, but it is totally OK to let your mind wander to sexy situations.

There are some people that will use porn, but thoughts and feelings from your own body are always so much better, real and felt within you.

Do your fantasies concern you? For instance, you may find yourself thinking about a girl or woman. Interest in women is called ‘lesbianism,’ ‘homosexuality,’ or ‘gay.’

As it turns out, everyone is on a bisexual spectrum. That means that no one is 100% straight (interested only in men), or gay (interested only in women). Oh, some people are very close to one end of the spectrum or another, and it’s all fine. Our positions on that spectrum can also vary over time.

As you continue to rub your clit and fantasize, you may have very delicious feelings. These are often described as chills that can happen anywhere in your body from head to toes, but are usually centered in the lower belly or genital region. You may feel like you are going to pee. Usually, that doesn’t happen.

Now, some women will quit at this point. The feelings scare them, so they stop the stimulation. That’s a shame. They are missing out on something very nice. We urge you to continue and find out what happens. Let the feeling build. Suddenly, the chill may become one of the best feelings you’ve ever had in your life. At the same time, you may feel rhythmic contractions in your vagina or anal area. Just let it happen and enjoy. Congratulations, you’ve had your first orgasm!

Wasn’t as great as you expected? Sometimes that happens with your first few orgasms. As you become more relaxed, more used to the situation, they can build into something truly fantastic.

Some women will want to stop very soon after orgasming. Others want do do it repeatedly, having several orgasms in a row. There’s no telling which style is yours, and it really doesn’t matter.

Now that you are a wanker (masturbater), you might want to explore some variations.

Perhaps the most common variation is to insert your fingers or an object into your vagina. Whatever you use should be smooth and clean. Use some slippery cream or oil if you need additional lubrication.

Remember that you do not need to penetrate your vagina at all. Many girls get as much pleasure from the outside and do not need anything to go inside at all.

At first, don’t go in too deep, or use something too big around. There’s lots of time for careful exploration of the limits later. Avoid anything that’s dangerous such as wood that can splinter, light bulbs that can shatter, and so on. Avoid chemicals such as toothpaste, soap, or anything that can’t be removed. More than one woman has been taken to the emergency room because they put something in their vagina that they couldn’t get out.

Another very interesting erogenous place can be your anus. Erogenous means a place that if touched can feel sexual. You might start with a very light touch or stroking of your anal area with your fingertips. You might prefer to use rubber gloves if you are averse to the possibility of getting some poop on your fingers.

You can also insert things into the anus. You’ll want to clean everything you use afterward. The bacteria that live around the anus can set off an infection in the vaginal area. It’s uncommon, but this can range from an annoying itch, or an undesirable odor, to a serious sickness. So, keep things clean. As with the vagina, whatever you use, if not your fingers, should be small and smooth. Some women have been known to have orgasms just from anal stimulation.

Whether you are putting something into your vagina or anus, you may find it is very tight. This can happen to many women. The muscles can contract really hard. There is no need to force anything. Use lots of lube and start with something thin. You don’t want something so thin or pointy that it could injure you, of course. Take your time. Relax. Breathe deep. If you can’t get it in today, you have all the rest of your life to work on it.

If you feel you would like a sex toy, but are unable to get one due to concerns with your parents or others, then walk around the local supermarket with and open mind and see what you can find. Toilet roll stand? Hairbrush? Toothbrush? Think always what you are trying to do, then let the mind wander.

Can I masturbate with others?

Yes, you can, but there are some things you might like to know:

Masturbating by yourself is far and away the safest form of sex.

In this era of Covid-19, simply breathing near someone else can be dangerous. Plus, you could catch a cold or the flu without even touching anyone.


If you touch someone, the danger increases. You can end up with jock itch, crabs (little insects that live in body hair and are hard to get rid of), or monkeypox.

If you kiss, or do anything involving contact with the genitals, the danger increases yet again, including rather horrible skin diseases, and herpes, a life-long annoyance.

Finally, if you mix bodily fluids, or have any sort of sexual penetration, the risk is even higher. You could catch AIDS. Contrary to popular belief, AIDS is not just something that happens among gay men. That disease can be contracted by men or women and from men or women.

So, if you can be satisfied with solo masturbation, that’s your best bet. Unlike partner sex, you can masturbate when, where and how you want. You can do it absolutely your way, with no need to compromise.

However, if you do want to engage in mutual masturbation, you’re still safer than engaging in other sexual activities.

Mutual masturbation takes many forms, but the most common are:

0. Sharing and comparing. This is not masturbation at all, but you and your friends may like to look at each other naked, noticing breast and nipple size, vaginal shape, ass shape, and the amount of hair on your bodies.

1. Playing doctor. This is surprisingly common among young children. The adult version is to get naked with a friend or several friends, and pretend you are undergoing a medical exam or procedure that involves the genitals. With the youngsters, playing doctor is not necessarily masturbatory or even sexual. With adults, anything can happen!

2. You and one or more friends are near each other, possibly watching and conversing while each person only touches themselves.

3. You masturbate your friend, and then your friend masturbates you. This way, you each get to enjoy the full feelings of being touched, without having to focus on satisfying the other person at the same time.

4. You get in a position where each is masturbating the other at the same time.

Assuming you have a brother, sister, cousin or friend who is interested, yet can respect your privacy by not blabbing to old-school people who could cause trouble, they can be your masturbation partner.

Quite often, mutual masturbation can include mouth-to-genital activities. Typically, this would be sucking on a penis, known as ‘blowjob’ or ‘fellatio,’ or licking a vagina, known as ‘going down on,’ ‘eating out,’ or ‘cunnilingus.’ This is more risky, and I’d really suggest avoiding anything oral. Since you can give and get delightful orgasms strictly with hands, there’s no need for anything more.

Assuming you are under 18 years old, it is a bad idea to masturbate with anyone older than 18 years old. The older person can get in legal trouble for being sexual with an underage person. Furthermore, they can persuade you to do things you’re not ready for. Oddly, sexual activity, even if just mutual masturbation, between someone younger than 18, and someone older, can have unexpected lifelong psychological consequences.

If someone older wants to masturbate, or do anything sexual with you, and you don’t want it, you are well within your rights to say “No.” If that person bothers you continually, badgers you, tries to blackmail you, or physically forces you to get sexual in any way, that’s rape. If you feel this might happen, let a responsible adult know the details of your concern.

Just to be safe, I’d recommend washing your hands before and after mutual masturbation.

If you’re masturbating with a girl, you can do the same things to her that you enjoy. Remember, for most women, starting very gentle is best, and slowly working up to the intensity of stimulation she wants. She may really enjoy non-masturbatory activity first, such as touching or massaging her whole body such as her arms, legs, back, neck, even her face and head.

If you’re masturbating with a boy, you’ll find that they enjoy handjobs. You might start by very light touching of the scrotum, then the tip of the penis. He will become erect if he isn’t already, meaning his penis will harden and become larger. This does not hurt the boy, and indicates he is experiencing a level of sexual expectation or pleasure. You can move your hand up and down on the loose skin of his penis. When boys orgasm, semen flows out of the end of their penis. Avoid getting that semen anywhere around your vagina, so you don’t end up having a baby.

Girl's Guide to Masturbation - Masturbating a Boy

In general, boys are more focused on their genitals. They like having their balls, dicks, and maybe their assholes stimulated directly, and aren’t as interested as girls are in whole body experiences. Whereas you might really enjoy having someone touching your sides, breasts, ass, back, neck, legs, arms and hands, touched, that usually has less effect on boys.

The boys will quite often start off too rough with you. It can be a real turn-off. Remind the boy that girls are different, they like to start with very gentle whole-body touching.

The boys can also become insistent. They are often concerned with just getting on with sex and thrusting in their penises. They quite often want to violate common sense, and will try to talk you into intercourse. Let a boy know in no uncertain terms, as early as you can, that you don’t want to take that risk, and that if he insists, everything good stops right away. If he doesn’t stop, it is rape, a very serious legal problem for him.

I shouldn’t even have to mention this, but if you find yourself in a situation where intercourse is going to happen, you’ll want to make sure to use a proper contraceptive. That’s something that will supposedly prevent pregnancy. Contraceptives are not perfect. They fail all too often.

The most common contraceptive is condoms, also known as ‘rubbers.’ These are thin rubber coverings that a boy can unroll over his penis. That will (supposedly) keep his semen – containing his sperm – within the condom, and not let it into your vagina. A condom is not much help when it comes to crabs, herpes, and a variety of other diseases.

Girl's Guide to Masturbation, Applying a Condom
Applying a condom

What if I want to masturbate with a girl? Does that make me gay?

Not necessarily. Many women have had woman-to-woman experiences, yet they end up happily married to a man. Of course if you are gay, also known as ‘lesbian,’ that’s become much more acceptable in today’s society. There’s nothing morally wrong with lesbianism. The only problem you may run into is that there are people in our society who are very down on things they don’t understand, and may give you a hard time.

What’s the scoop on pornography?

Why do we watch porn?

  • Curious of what others have
  • Curious of what the other sex has
  • What is sex “really” like?
  • It’s exciting
  • We know it is naughty, this turns us on even more
  • Risk of getting caught is exciting even if it is scary
  • Helps me fantasize, turns me on, makes me really horny

Is porn real?

Much of porn is staged, faked. Some is totally real. It is very hard to tell the difference. The bottom line is that it is entertainment. Many of the porn actors are not typical. They may have overly large breasts or dicks, they may shoot out extraordinary amounts of semen, they may have amazing staying power before they orgasm, they may scream and yell and carry on, they may be especially good looking, and so on.

Some porn is very degrading to women. Those who consistently watch such porn could assume that all women love giving men blowjobs without reciprocation, that it’s OK to slap or hit women, and that it’s all about the man’s pleasure. That kind of porn should be totally avoided.

The better kind of porn portrays men and women as equals. She is entitled to as much pleasure as he is getting. He should treat her as kindly as she treats him. Together, they can explore some crazy and unusual things, but they do it together as partners.

There is also gay porn, porn involving many people, and the less common sexual activities such as anal sex, bondage, and playing with sex toys. This porn should follow along the same lines: Men and women should treat each other equally and with respect.

Porn addiction

Masturbation is not usually addictive. Pornography may be addictive. Here’s how you can tell that you’ve become addicted: If your studies or relationships have changed, if you’re doing poorly in school, or don’t have as much time for your friends and family, you may be addicted.

Most addictions are so difficult to overcome that you’ll need professional help. It may be difficult to bring it up with your parents, but that’s the place to start. If you just can’t, then perhaps another responsible adult can help. That could be a trusted teacher, family member, or the parent of one of your friends. Addictions, whether eating disorders, drug use, or sexual disorders are not something to be ashamed of. They happen to millions of people. In fact, you can be very proud that you’re seeking help.

What happens after an orgasm?

A variety of thing can happen. Not all of these will happen to you although some of these may happen sometimes:

1. You may cry. This isn’t necessary sad or happy crying. It’s just something that can happen after an orgasm.

2. You may immediately want another orgasm.

3. You may not want an orgasm, or to do anything sexual, for anywhere from a few minutes, to many days.

4. You may have mild pain or itching. That will go away soon. If in the very rare circumstance you feel great pain, let your parents know. You may need to see a doctor.

5. You may feel guilty. This is unfortunately common. It’s due to the influence on you from all the old-school misinformation still hanging around that masturbation is supposedly bad.

6. You may feel weak or tired. This can happen after your first orgasms. If it happens later on, you might want to look at other lifestyle issues. Perhaps you’re stressed, not getting enough sleep, or not eating a fully nutritious diet.

What if something isn’t quite right?

As human beings, we tend to worry about things. 99% of the things we worry about turn out to be nothing. Sexual matters tend to be worse, because we are reluctant to discuss them with our parents, doctors, or any other adult.

If you have a concern, communication is the best approach. Most of the time, when you express your worry to an adult, they can put your worries to bed. For instance, when my mother had her first period, and blood came out, she was convinced she was going to die. She reluctantly told her mother about it, who assured her that it was entirely normal. You may have other concerns, perhaps a discharge, an itch, or a concern that you have caused damage due to an usual masturbation technique. Let an adult, or possibly a medical professional if needed, assure you that you’re OK. It’s worth discussing, because it will take a load off your mind.

What if I need to see a doctor?

Girl's Guide to Masturbation - Medical Issues

Doctors are there to help you, not to hurt you.

They see breasts, vaginas and anuses every single day, they will not have any sexual charge, or any concern about seeing yours. They will maintain your privacy while being examined. Only the doctor, possibly an adult chaperone, and anyone who you specifically allow will be present while you’re examined. Normally, after puberty, your parents are not allowed to be in the exam room, unless you give your permission.

Doctors cannot tell, and don’t care if you have masturbated.

Doctors masturbate as well.

We mentioned misinformation once or twice. Here are some common misbeliefs:

  • I will lose my eyesight.
  • God will chop my hands off.
  • Masturbation makes me bald, sick, hair on my palms.
  • Bad for my health.
  • Stunts my growth.
  • Stops my breasts growing.
  • Affects puberty.
  • My parents can smell if I have masturbated.

Are there unsafe masturbation practices?

Yes, totally.

  • Your urethra (peehole) is very susceptible to infection. It is best not to stick anything into the urethra. If you must do so, make sure the object is sterile and smooth. The urethral walls can tear easily, and bleed profusely.
  • It is possible to put something in your anus or vagina that you can’t remove. Things with sharp edges are especially problematic for obvious reasons. If you must put big things in, make sure a string is firmly attached so you can pull it back out. Better yet, don’t put big things in there.
  • Any sort of exchange of bodily fluids with another person could cause you a lifetime of illness.
  • There is no need to combine masturbation with use of drugs, alcohol, or dangerous practices such as cutting. Masturbation by itself is totally enjoyable.
  • When it comes to mutual masturbation or other forms of two-person sex, be very careful who you associate with. Some people are terribly abusive.
  • Keep your masturbation private. In the heat of the moment, you may let someone participate who will blab all over over town, or worse, post your pictures or video on the Internet. You can never undo that.
  • You may see challenges on TikTok and elsewhere that might involve blocking your breathing, or inserting unsafe objects. These challenges do not need to be taken seriously.

So, what are some safe masturbation practices?

  • Add peeing into your masturbation practice. Playing with peeing is often called ‘watersports.’
  • Masturbate outdoors in a safe and secluded space.
  • Lay on one or more pillows, and rub against them, called pillow humping.
  • Edging. This is the idea of getting close to orgasm, but putting it off for as long as you can.
  • Masturbate on webcam, but only with a trusted friend. Do not keep recordings of your masturbatory times. When webcamming, even with a friend, it is best not to show your face. The other person could have friends in the room watching you, or even making a video of you to upload on the internet.
  • Expand your fantasy life while masturbating.
  • Medibation is the combination of meditation and masturbation. It can take any form you wish from mindful masturbation, to letting your mind be as clear as you can while masturbating.
  • It is possible to read, listen to music, watch videos, and even study while masturbating.
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I’m a Nudist Nonbinary Man

I'm a nudist nonbinary man and I masturbate

I’ve never felt like I was fully a man. There was no doubt about it
physically and I was always interested in my body and in masturbation. But
while I loved women, I never had that desperate need that so many men have;
in fact, I was seldom able to perform adequately with a woman, no matter how
much I loved her. And while I’ve always had a strong feminine side, and
have dressed essentially androgynously (jeans, shorts, t-shirts/tank tops,
sandals, and I love wearing short men’s skirts), that was the extent of it.

Complicating this was serious PTSD from being sexually abused at a very
young age by my grandfather. I’ve slowly recovered vague memories of him
having me be his “naked slave”, a pattern of behavior that resurfaced after
the divorce from my first wife, and which I adopted completely – the idea
that because I could not perform with women I had to become a slave to the
Goddess and serve her through naked service to women. There’s nothing wrong
with that if it’s sincere. The article “Slave Michael” here on is about my life when I was seeing myself as a slave.

Then I caught Covid, which was mild, followed by long Covid, which laid me
low. I was bedridden for weeks, with a slow recovery to follow. It
affected my brain and my thinking, and as I came back to life I realized
that the PTSD and slavery had vanished. While I still love to be and be
seen naked, the urge to submit myself to a subservient relationship was

While I was sick I got acquainted with current thinking about gender
identity, and soon realized that, in modern terms, I am nonbinary. I
strongly identify physically as male, but sexually I’m female. This is why
my sexual relations were not successful – I was supposed to be the one
getting fucked. I realized I had lost all interest in having sex with
women. Like most men, I’ve experimented with anal sex and liked it OK.
Alright, more than OK when it came to wearing a butt plug and the few
occasions when a woman used a dildo on me. But the thought of being fucked
by a man was anathema to me. I obtained a dildo which is almost exactly like
my own penis but two inches longer, and using it on myself turned out to be a
delight, so much so that I began collecting photos of attractive penises from
the Internet, having prints made of the best ones, and fantasizing about them
being used on me.

Oddly enough, though, I still have absolutely no actual
sexual interest in other men – I just want to be fucked by a beautiful penis.
It was a revelation to find that there was very little actually sexual about
being fucked, but I love not only how it feels but also the idea of having
to allow my body to be penetrated and used for someone else’s pleasure, for
as long as he wants to. But the pandemic, and then monkeypox, make it all
too obvious that it’s way too risky to be meeting people I don’t know well
and allowing them to use my body these days.

Michael, nonbinary nudist

I’ve lived for years as a smooth (shaved) nudist full time at home, and
sometimes when visiting friends. My useless-for-sexual-relations genitals
are not just visible all the time, the lack of pubic hair puts them on
display. It’s impossible for me to ignore them. The realization that they
can only be used for masturbation now has freed me to see them in a
different light: that’s what they’re for, and there’s no shame or guilt in
it, any more than using my legs to walk around, because it’s no longer about
sex in the traditional sense. I don’t do it because I feel deprived or
sneaky, I do it because it brings me pure, unadulterated joy. And honestly,
is there anything more beautiful than a big erection?

Things I think about when I masturbate:

* Having my anus exposed and available all the time

* Going out in a skirt and getting fucked

* Having friends who come to my house and fuck me sometimes

* The first time I get fucked being videoed and posted online

* Living as a roommate with a man, on the condition that I live naked all the time and he can fuck me

* There are lots of photos on the Internet, most on Wikimedia, of me naked that get lots of views and that I can’t take down, and I think about people looking at those and seeing me the way I actually live.

* People seeing my naked pictures on the Internet and thinking about me getting fucked

* Also people looking at pictures of my bare feet on the Internet

* Always being naked and shaved with my genitals on display

* Everyone knowing my genitals will never again be used for sex with another person, and that they are only for viewing and masturbation

* People reading this article

I don’t masturbate with the goal of ejaculating, quite the opposite. I’m a
tantric edger, getting high on sexual energy, and prolonging the high for as
long as possible. In that respect, masturbation is sacred, since tanra is
one of the seven yogas, on a par with the hatha yoga practiced by many.
There is a spiritual element to the high that elevates the spirit and lasts
afterwards. In the interest of keeping the plumbing healthy, I do
occasionally cum, and it’s a rare treat when I do.

Nonbinary Michael masturbating

Sometimes I will take yohimbe, an herb which acts a lot like Viagra, and
spend hours enjoying the extended state of arousal. It also makes my body
look sexier to me, especially being shaved. I wish I could feel like that
all the time, but the herb has side effects that make it impractical for me
to use it too often. The new freedom I feel about masturbating means
promoting and dedicating time to it no longer carries any stigma. After
all, how is it any worse a thing to do than to self-indulge watching
football and drinking beer all day? And I wind up feeling fulfilled, not

I should add that I never masturbate around others unless it’s part of the
context of a situation. Similarly, if a visitor is not comfortable with
nudity, I wear clothes in their presence. I get no pleasure from someone
else’s discomfort. I do often regret that necessity, since it’s all about
pleasure and joy, but members of this society are conditioned from early in
life to be ashamed of their bodies, and to fear being in the presence of
nudity. I would love for masturbation to be widely viewed as I view it, a
personal activity that’s good for physical and mental health, and not one
more thing to feel inhibited and guilty about. Maybe someday we’ll get

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