My wife lost interest in sex after menopause. I’m told that’s rather common. We did communicate about it, and our relationship evolved in two ways, something I’m afraid may be missing in many marriages. I hope you and your wife can work out something similar:
1. She encouraged me to masturbate as much as I want, even in her presence. This immediately took the frustration out of our relationship. I no longer craved sex as much and she no longer felt a requirement to ‘perform.’
2. She started giving me handjobs and didn’t want reciprocation. I asked her what she got out of it, and she told me that she enjoys the conversation. So, I make it a point to really pay attention and participate while she’s wanking me.
Here’s the big bonus that really changed everything: During our early handjob-only sessions, I was able to ask for what I wanted. I often like firm but not painful testicle massage. She’d do that for me so well that sometimes I’d even orgasm without my penis being touched at all.
I found after these hands-free orgasms that I was still erect and aroused, and could cum again. Then we made the big discovery. Through close communication, she could bring me and hold me so close to the edge of ejaculation that I was actually orgasming without cumming.
These orgasms were only about 70% as strong as regular ejaculatory orgasms, but the trade-off was fantastic. We could do it over and over for an hour or more. In time, my body learned what I wanted, so I could go into these dry orgasms easily. And, then the best magic of all: These dry orgasms became stronger than the regular orgasms I used to have.
So the situation now is that I don’t miss intercourse with her at all. She has managed to replace it with something even better!